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I keep trying to break out of this introverted slump Iapos;ve been in lately, itapos;s pretty difficult to be honest.

Iapos;m reading Deep Economy by Bill McKibben right now and Iapos;m excited about the idea of local community farming, but Iapos;m too turned in on myself right now to talk about it at great length into the camera. I will occasionally talk about it with folks at the coffee shop, or maybe in my house, but itapos;s growing harder and harder to actually verbalize it without a prompter or someone else there.

I suppose thats why community is really valuable to me right now. Itapos;s where I am drawing a lot of my strength, although my house mates may not even know it because Iapos;m in my room a lot these days. I suppose it would look like, from an outsiders P.O.V. That Iapos;m being very anti-social, which maybe I am, but Iapos;m still grateful that they are here, in the house.

This poverty thing has me all in a tizzy, Iapos;m looking at the popular perception of poverty in the world, you know the "save the children" type advertizing, vs. The American Governments definition of Poverty and they simply donapos;t line up.

There are definitely impoverished people in America, but itapos;s not because they are not making over $10K a year, itapos;s because they donapos;t have a good shelter or enough to eat because the market has globalised to such a degree that they simply canapos;t fathom themselves farming their own food, or relying on their neighbors to provide them with valuable services. Local communities are struggling to keep up with the way we Americans and other "developed nations" live our lives. If we simply take ownership again of our own wellbeing and started to give each other a sense of self worth alot of this "economic crisis" would hardly faze us.

Take for example a family here in KY, they and their families have lived on the same piece of land for hundreds of years, and therefore they happen to own a lot of land (100+ acres) but itapos;s not because they are wealthy, in fact they make 50 LESS than the governments defined "poverty level" and therefore would require aid and assistance in many peoples view. The thing is though, these people are really happy folk, they have food because they either grow it, or trade what they donapos;t need to their neighbors who have other kinds of food. They have a house, albeit a small and ever deteriorating one, and they have each other, themselves and their neighbors. Why should we tell them that they have to live up to our standard of living when they are content with what they have.

I talk myself into circles when I donapos;t have anyone responding in real time, which is why Iapos;m not a good writer, but man Iapos;m just tired of the expectation that if youapos;re not living the American dream with all the shit that comes along with it that somehow youapos;re failing. Iapos;m happy that weapos;ve finally come to the end of this giant economic growth monster weapos;ve created, maybe now the local economy will springboard back into existence. Probably not though, considering we are still talking about "rescuing" this failing beast.

Anyway, I did record a video today, despite the introvert struggle:



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