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Quickly shifting situations seem to give me less regret than the standing solemn stick figures that present the situation themselves. Lovely labia licking is not my leisure, but eating pussy does make me feel better. Itapos;s a shame thereapos;s no solid scarecrows of women here in the state of penicillin, Iapos;m just getting the habit of always chillinapos;.

Melodic males tout their tales held high above their heads, when questioned about their inquisition, they just dance, dance, dance. Through all times Iapos;ve toured the taliban of tyranny, American misery, European elegance, thereapos;s only one sweetness that sets all apart; home baked bread.

I I brethren look for the same kind of smooth,
posh posteriors that are pretty as they are fierce.
"Play w/ the pussy, or play pussy".

Full dread salad.

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One of the things I keep reading when I see an article about someone with EDS is that they keep dislocating.� Like, on a constant basis, all day long when they walk, sit, lay, stand, their hips dislocate, their shoulders.� Now, I have really bad hips and one of my shoulders is *really* bad.� Surprisingly itapos;s *not* the shoulder that I�actually dislocated.� Some people may have heard of subluxation?� Itapos;s like dislocation, only, partial or full, youapos;re able to put it back in the socket.� Now that I do all day long, all night long.� If I were actually dislocating things on the extreme basis that these people are claiming, theyapos;d have to be supported by web, suspended from the ceiling never to move again.� I used to read these accounts and think how lucky I was to be in this much constant pain, where things pop and crack every time I move, but at least Iapos;m not actually dislocating that much.� Because the two times I�have dislocated major joints, well - the shoulder I blacked out for a second but was able to turn and shove to get it back in and then blacked out again for a moment (I was alone and had no other choice).� The first time I�was 7 months pregnant with my youngest and was rear-ended.� Because of the pregnancy there was nothing they could do, so I spent the next three months crawling up and down from the third floor twice a day to get my kids to and from school.� Amazingly it was giving birth that allowed the joint to realign so I didnapos;t require the surgery theyapos;d predicted.

But I think I went off on a tangent there.� The last week has been bad enough that Iapos;ve gone from Advil to Percocet (an old script that I try to avoid taking).� Iapos;ve gone from taking one a night to two a night and wishing to take them during the day but that would not be responsible.� Iapos;m running out and no longer have a doctor so Iapos;m praying to whichever diety might be listening that this really bad set is a phase that will get better soon.� I only go out when I have to and when I do both knees are braced.� Unfortunately the hips and shoulder canapos;t be braced so I shuffle my way through whichever store I�need to be in, averting my eyes from the looks I get from other people, and try to just get through it without crying in public.� Hoping that I donapos;t fall down because I donapos;t think I could get up on my own.� I�usually take my son with me so he can run ahead and do things and be there to help me walk sometimes.� Iapos;ve found that often the carts they offer at the store vibrate so much that I canapos;t walk at all when I get out of it and have fallen getting up.� I�have a scooter in the trunk of my van but I no longer have the strength to take it out and put it back together as I did every day brining Michaela to school the end of last year.� Well, no.� I�have the strength, but if I�use it the pain is to much to bear and lasts for a long time.

Iapos;m not just whining, Iapos;m trying to keep a record of how I feel and when.� I know that I�donapos;t always feel this bad, but right now it feels like it.� At this point itapos;s been just over a week.� And I need to stop typing now because it hurts too much and I�must once again shift position.



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Two years ago my mother passed away. And, well, I am sure I can never really feel "over it".� And, quite frankly, that isnapos;t how you are supposed to feel.� But, in that time, now, I think Iapos;ve just come to accept it in a more peaceful and open way.� Itapos;s not a hurt, more of a vivid memory--happy memories.�

Dealing with another friendapos;s loss this week, today, it brought a lot of those sad memories back.� Those uncertain times. And the tears and questions, doubts.� But, even that, even today, standing there, suit on, back row, church lights, flowers.� Even then, I was at a comfort with myself--almost wanting to somehow transfer that assurance that everything would be okay to her.� That if somehow a hug, a smile, or even a simple nod could somehow explain that, yes, it will hurt, but there are beautiful days to come.� And that, now, as I sit here, I realize that with the crowds gone, and the tears dry, that now, I am happy in the memories of my mother.� I am happy in the past.� Because, so much I do today, will do for the days to come, are shaped by my motherapos;s love.�

Standing there today, again, I could feel the sadness in the room, I could feel the heaviness as the casket was carried to its final stop, and the tears were once again so very real.�

But I was happy.� I�was sure.� And I know I canapos;t extend that kind of feeling with such swiftness� And, really, I donapos;t think itapos;d be right to even if I could.� Because I know, I know, that it is okay, and right to feel, really feel that sense of loss.� It only makes that hope so much brighter.� It takes time.� But we believe, with hope.

And so it goes, we let go, with hope.

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Oh. My. God. That debate... Okay, for the most part, the debate was fine. McCain didnapos;t look like a doddering old fool like the last time. Iapos;m sure his staff was happy that heapos;d be seated the whole time. But then came the last question about education. McCain brought up special needs kids and parents dealing with autism, something his running mate "knows something about." Um, Senator McCain, your running mate doesnapos;t have an autistic child. She has a child with Downapos;s Syndrome.

He doesnapos;t even know what her child has What the hell? He canapos;t be bothered to know that little detail and he wants to be our president? :::smacks head:::

And is it just me or did everyone else just want to smack that sanctimonious smirk off his face? I mean, does he have another expression?

As for the substance of the debate, I thought it was good. I liked the bit about the negative ads being run, as well as the tenor of the campaign, particularly on the McCain side. I canapos;t believe that McCain would not concede that the remarks shouted at his rallies, such as "Kill him" or "Off with his head", should have been immediately and vociferously denounced by him and his running mate. That type of behavior needs to be squashed immediately and he refused to acknowledge that. And the Ayers topic was interesting and one in which Obama excelled. He cleared the air as far as his connection to the Palin-proclaimed "domestic terrorist", denying that he ever palled around with him. McCain persisted in his assertions, but I think everyone sees this ploy for what it is, that is a distraction from the real issues. It is fear-mongering, plain and simple.

I think Obama did well. He was on the defensive for much of the debate, but he does well in that role. Heapos;s ahead in the polls at the moment, so realistically, he just needed to hold his own tonight. Iapos;m cautiously optimistic about his election at this point. But Iapos;m still so afraid to get my hopes up. My mind is telling me that McCain needs a miracle at this point and that time is running out for him. Iapos;m just afraid to hope too much. But I think itapos;s already too late for that. I passed that point quite a while back, Iapos;m afraid.

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Right now Im starting fresh. You can put a strikethrough on EVERY entry Ive posted over the summer up until now. That chapter in my life has officially ended, and I am ready to start a new one. Im throwing out all of my leftover emotions from the relationship, and the break up, and all of my bad friendships, and everything negative, its just gone.
Time to FOCUS on whats important, and that has changed, and now that Ive accepted the change Im getting my priorities straight. GOD, SCHOOL, DANCE, FAMILY, FRIENDS.
:)


Im ready to be happy again.

�

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I�had a terrifying-ass dream that my boss assaulted me Naomi Campbell-style.

We were having an office party, and people were drinking champagne from the bottle, including (especially) me. I was at someoneapos;s desk with a group of people learning something in Excel, I think having to do with Solver. She called me over to tell me I had to work and handed me a sponge, telling me to clean up. I�tried to explain I was learning something and she told me I was never going to use it anyway and threw a cordless phone at me Nobody in my office did anything and I quit without resistance.

This dream woke me up crying at 3:30. I have really got to let work stay at work somehow. Iapos;ve already got a plan to move on to a new career but that will be awhile, I just have to deal with the here and now.
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UUHHHH I luv this guy the most in HSJ. Weird but true.
Keito youapos;re so cool

first I always wonder why some fan hate him so much,I mean look at him so adorable.Heapos;s not the first member that i adore in HSJ but he always got my attention first even when I was still flailing over other member like Takaki.

When I first look at him i thought"Who is he?why his attitudes seems different from the other members?".He always the quiet one no matter in what situation.he work hard but rarely talk about it.He moves on his own pace.And heapos;s so relax arenapos;t like most japan idol boys like Yamada or Yuto.He always been the member that makes me curious the most.

And now Im always watching his improvement.He used to look so awkward now 100 more confident like a total new person.He just being himself.

From what I saw,Keito used to doing thing more than talking.Now heapos;s slowing down,look relax doing the talking more.And I notice his unintentionally funny attitudes starting to coming out more often now.

In his pv in Mayonaka No Shadow Boy I also seems to realise HE CAN ACT. Oh man canapos;t wait till he show up in any drama.And currently Iapos;m still waiting for the making of MNSB .He seems improve in everything compare to the first pv.Now this type of guy is fun to watch,he may not as good as Yamada [who of course always been the golden boy in HSJ] but I think heapos;s much more interesting.
------Now I know why Johnny want him to debut in the first place considering heapos;s being a jr only for 6 month.so shrt compare to other jr who already debut so far
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